espousing the bullshit

so that is my unofficial title of the state of the union. boo. here is my blow by blow of the espousing of the bullshit. first of all george- what's with the blue tie? where's the red power tie? what are you trying to convey here with the blue? but with the speech:
1. is egypt really the best example of a democracy that you can come up with?? one party rule with "elections" that are always tampered with and where all serious threats to the ruling party aren't allowed to run? great examples of jewels in the crowning joy of democracy.
2. second guessing isn't good policy, you're right. but blindly following bad decisions without thought of revamping them or even reconsidering the course is worse policy.
3. if you want the iranian people, at least the academics and elites, to respect your opinion that iran should not have nuclear weapons, you should make clear why. because the government is a muslim theocracy is not a good reason. india and pakistan is why. two dueling countries without the money to invest in safeguarding technologies and unstable militaries. those are good reasons.
4. if you really cared about those african villagers with aids you would pull the global gag rule that stops funding from family planning clinics that are doing the only things that can stop the spread of aids in africa: EDUCATION and the distribution of CONDOMS free of charge. but these clinics have closed due to lack of funding. oh yeah and the fact that the entire WORLD laughed at at the WHO aids day when we miserably tried to talk about how abstinence works. countries like sudan laughed at our "ideas" on aids. thanks george. you fuck-head
5. ok judge roberts, the fact that you smiled and nodded after george railed about the wire taps is SCARY!
6. the first realistic thing he's said all night, this country can't function without immigrants.
7. was there some sort of inside joke about the line item veto that i missed?? ah ha ha ha
8. i like how the dems totally cheered when bushie complained about the social security "initiative" not getting passed. but seriously is what we need another blue ribbon commission on social security. we all know the fucking options. tax increases vs. higher retirement age blah blah blah.
9. YOU SNEAKY BASTARD since when can you equate womens' health with fucking tort reform what the fuck!!!
10. so apparently the teen pregnancy rate in down... lies, ALL LIES! and the number of abortions is down, but none of this is due toabstinence education or this so-called revolution of conscience. factual sex education instituted at the end of the reagan administration (only good thing that guy ever did) and strengthened through clinton, with the availability of free clinics and birth control of all forms are responsible. teen pregnancy rates have skyrocketed on your watch george.

seriously this guy makes me want to cry. and stop trying to represent all military families as pro-war. losing a loved one is not something that should be taken advantage of, as he so callously did tonight.

chex mix theory

so guys, i don't know if you realize the depth and detail that girls discuss all aspects of their lives with each other. so if you have a bad date, just know that it is going to be disected. so in that vein, i was on the worst date ever with euro boy. bad date, bad dinner, (who insists on going out to dinner instead of drinks then doesn't order food?!?!), conversation was wtf, and the end of the night was unfulfilling, to say the least. this was definitely the last time i'm going to see him. so after the date i called diana to complain and share my misery. i knew she would get a good laugh out of it. and seemingly out of nowhere she says, "god, it's like chex mix out of the bag, just nasty". of course anyone who knows her isn't suprised by her random references, usually family guy or the simpsons, but this one seemed way out of left field. apparently after having home made chex mix at my house the stuff out of the bag is all crap to her now. which to diana translates exactly to my love life. (?) i guess i have come around to the chex mix theory, though, once you experience the good stuff, the mediocre just seems even worse.

you get what you pay for

so i went in to the dollar store today(yes i'm broke- shut up) to get a potato peeler. i go up to the counter, where all the little two aspirin packets and combs are, and saw something you should never see in a dollar store. a pregnancy test. there are some things you should "splurge" on. from the quality of the potato peeler, which fell apart after two potatoes, i would not trust the $1 pregnancy test.

worthless piece of garbage

so I always knew that USA Today was a wothless pice of garbage that tried to pass itself off as a newspaper. But not until this week did I realize that it could actually make you dumber by reading it. I was in Rochester all week, and when you stay at the holiday inn they give you a free USA Today every morning, I figured what the hell, it's on my doorstep, I'll read it. What a mistake. so yesterday was a pretty big day news-wise. The Palestinians had parlimentary elections, and the anti-Israeli and some say terrorist group, Hamas had a landslide victory over Fatah, the ruling party. Now this was pretty much the headline on every newspaper in the country, even the little Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. But what, you may ask was the front page of USA Today? A story about snowboarders being more open-minded about participating in the Olympics instead of the X-Games. I shit you not. And this newspaper has the highest circulation in the country. That makes me want to cry.

nuggets of wisdom...

oh paris hilton, how we love you. I think it was paris who compared herself to the british royal family, because the US doesn't have royalty so the hiltons are as close as it gets. wow. pure genius. personally, i would have gone for the Kennedy family, that's just me... pure crazy talk. but here are a few nuggets of wisdom from a deposition Paris had to give in a trial where she is being sued for defamation:

On her people skills: "If something happens bad to someone, I just don't talk to them again. I don't confront people. I don't do anything."
On being kind to others: "I was trying to be nice. Because if you are nice to someone, then they can't talk bad about you. Like, they'll feel bad saying mean things about you."
On the impact of technology: "Whatever I write in an email, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."
On interpersonal relationships: "I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names."
On her former publicist referring to Graff as a "stalker": "I would never say stalking. I'm not like a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."
On her deep knowledge of Greek culture: "It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas or ..."

who does that?

this is going to be short, but I have to ask... who proposes to a girl that you are not dating, who you have actively not been seeing for about a year because your relationship is so dysfunctional, and by the way you also have had another girlfriend for the last 6 months. who does this you may ask?? jon and erikka, who else. jon my boy, i love you, but you need some serious therapy.

slightly drunk, but wtf

so, ok its like almost 5 am and i'm kinda drunk. just an fyi on this post. i just need to say what the fuck. so me and my girls are out at the club, having a good time, and this guy starts talking to me. he seems nice enough, not the most attractive guy ever, but nice and good conversation. fyi it is like 3am when we are talking, and he's all like, where are you heading after this? I say, "i'm not sure, probably home, we've been out all night". he's like "wanna come to the east village? it's a good time down there." what the fuck. seriously it's 3am, i already told you i live in this neighborhood and you want me to come way the fuck over to the east village, which isn't even near the subway, at 3 in the godamn morning! so...no. He's all like, aww, when can I see you, you have friends staying with you until monday, so not tonight, i can see you after then? again, WTF!! so after 15 minutes of conversation you think i'm just gonna fuck you? just because I have big boobs does not make me a whore. sorry.

i finally dispose of thise guy nicely because as much as i want to, i just cannot be a bitch to guys who seem to like me. i do not know why. they can be total asses and all i can do is "sorry, call me later? (fake number)" WTF is wrong with me?! i am blunt to a fault but not with these random ass guys. and then this guy ambushes me by the bathroom in the club. trying to make-out with me. If a girl gives you the cheek 3 fucking times, GIVE IT UP! stop trying to assault me. tell me i'm beautiful all you want, i am not fucking you in the back of this club. go away.

so this guy finally get the hint, THANK GOD, and so i'm back with my girls, who didn't come to the rescue, but it's ok, they didn't know there way a guy trying to rape my mouth in the hallway. so a little later the owner of the club comes over to talk to us, says he remembers me from last weekend. not good, krystal and i had waaay too much to drink before we came here last weekend. i make a joke about it, and he says he doesn't remember me being out of control (relief). but apparently he is going to hook us up in his other club tomorrow night when we go out- sweet! so later, before we leave, we go over to say goodbye, and let him know we'd be calling him tomorrow, he asks me if i can keep a secret. I say sure, thinking he's going to tell me he wants my friend steph, who he seemed to be hitting on, but he says something to the effect of, you've been driving me crazy all night, can i take you home. ooh, sorry, i have to say, my friends are staying with me this weekend. too bad. because seriously i am just not in the mood anymore. i am drunk, this guy is funny and nice, even good looking, but way shorter than me, which at this point in the night i just cannot handle anymore from guys. so he says, well, i guess i'll have to wait till monday.

WHAT THE FUCK. is it the boobs?! tell me because i'll start wearing turtlenecks. because every guy i meet seems to think i want to get it on right now. the sooner the better. hell, the bathroom in a bar even! what is it about me that screams ho bag? sure, sometimes i like to wear low cut shirts. so what, like you couldn't tell i have big boobs if i was wearing a turtleneck sweater. and if you think some guy giving me sex eyes because he can see cleavage on a friday night is anything special, please. I get that look every goddamn day whether i'm wearing a t-shirt or some strappy top. get over it, they are just boobs.

But I don't wanna be a trucker!

So I was reading online about the new "spurring" growth of jobs in soooo many industries. So I was curious; if I were to be out of a job in the coming year, or graduating college, what would my best bets be? The results are pathetic. The tops 25 "jobs that are in demand" are either below a living wage for almost every city in this country, or completely out of reach without niche training or years of extra schooling. Let's see..... gee, I could be a Food Service Handler, or a College Professor. hmm no difference in ability level there. but the sad thing is no many kids are put in the position of not having any job opportunities because of their 'field of intelligence'. I could sit around and discuss IR theory all day, talk about east asian history and foreign policy all you want, but for the life of me I will NEVER be able to be a computer software engineer or an accountant. I was pretty good at algebra, but beyond that, I never had a head for numbers. So I'm totally screwed on the "job growth" curve. So even though I went to college, I'm stuck with customer service rep and retail salesperson. blah



1. Retail SalespersonWhat it pays: $22,880Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
2. Registered NurseWhat it pays: $55,680Minimum training needed: Associate degree
3. Postsecondary TeacherWhat it pays: $62,032Minimum training needed: Doctoral degree
4. Customer Service RepWhat it pays: $29,350Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
5. Janitor or Cleaner (except maids and housekeeping cleaners)What it pays: $20,800Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
6. Waiter/WaitressWhat it pays: $15,980Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
7. Combination Food Preparation and Serving WorkerWhat it pays: $17,850Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
8. Home Health AideWhat it pays: $19,200Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
9. Nursing Aid, Orderly, AttendantWhat it pays: $21,890Minimum training needed: Postsecondary vocational
10. General and Operations ManagerWhat it pays: $93,580Minimum training needed: Bachelor's degree plus work
11. Personal and Home Care AideWhat it pays: $17,560Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
12. Elementary School TeacherWhat it pays: $46,350Minimum training needed: BA
13. Accountant and AuditorWhat it pays: $57,160Minimum training needed: BA
14. Office ClerkWhat it pays: $24,440Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
15. Hand Laborer and freight, stock and material moverWhat it pays: $22,190Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
16. Receptionist and Information ClerkWhat it pays: $22,900Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
17. Landscaping and Groundskeeping WorkerWhat it pays: $22,260Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training
18. Truck Driver, Heavy and Tractor TrailerWhat it pays: $34,920Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
19. Computer Applications Software EngineerWhat it pays: $78,570Minimum training needed: Bachelor's degree
20. Maintenance and Repair WorkerWhat it pays: $32,290Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
21. Medical AssistantWhat it pays: $25,860Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
22. Executive Secretary and Administrative AssistantWhat it pays: $37,350Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
23. Sales Representative, Wholesale and ManufacturingWhat it pays: $54,500Minimum training needed: Moderate-term on-the-job training
24. CarpenterWhat it pays: $38,250Minimum training needed: Long-term on-the-job training
25. Teacher AssistantWhat it pays: $20,750Minimum training needed: Short-term on-the-job training

not even new year's yet

so I have been home in Indianapolis for the holidays, of course, seeing the family, all my siblings who are now scattered about the country, along with my parents, grandparents, and 50-odd cousins. as if that in and of itself doesn't leave enough rooms for knock-down drag out craziness, I had two of my best friends from college come down to visit for a few days over new years. I figured it would be great fun, a chance for old-fashioned binge drinking, meeting some boys maybe, and a drama-free weekend. holy shit, was I way off.

so the night before new years the three of us head out to the bars after some shots and champagne at home. We're out, having a good time, we even meet some pretty hot guys who buy all our drinks for the night (sweet!). the three of us girls and the hot guys all head to another club were things get a little crazy with the drinking and the dancing, but all in good fun ;) so it's 3:00 and last call so we decide to head to an after-bar at this place I know after we grab some food. so we're waiting in line and my friend D. realizes she left her jacket inside the bar, which is just across the street. so we wait for her to grab her jacket, but she doesn't come back. the guys had already left to meet us at the a-bar, so my friend J. and I are waiting for ten or fifteen before we start to freak out. we start checking all the bars and restaurants that are open up and down the street, but there is no sign of her anywhere. we try to call her cell, but realize she had handed it too us while waiting in line for food, so we have no way of getting hold of her, while she is lost in a city that she has never been to. it's now almost 4am and no sign of D., so I wave down a cop, who tells me I have to call the police, waving down a patrol car assigned to the neighborhood isn't good enough- what the fuck?! it's 25 degrees and I have to call the police and wait another 20 minutes for them to show up while you are driving circles around this neighborhood!!?!?- and now I have to call these hot-ass guys and tell them we aren't coming because our friend fucking disappeared. I was sooo mad.

usually in situations like this I am the one in control. the one who always knows what to do, who to call, and the one calming everyone else down. not so much here. I was pretty drunk, and I just lost it. And so this random-ass guy, "mr. concerned citizen", starts talking to us, all like "oh what's wrong, can I help you two ladies out with anything". we kept saying no, we're fine, the police are coming to help us, so really you don't have to stay here, so finally he left and the detective came. we got to sit in his warm car, even if we did look like two streetwalkers who just got collared for soliciting. and the officer help inject some humor into the situation, even if he didn't mean too, he was asking us all the normal questions, like D's description, DOB, etc, but then he said, "I don't mean to be crass, but does she have a thing for black men?" I had to stifle my laughter, not because the intent behind the question was laughable, but the way he asked, just like he was asking me if she had blue or brown eyes. and then mr. concerned citizen walks up, knocks on the widow of the squad car and asks "are you ladies alright?" ummm, yeah were in the back of a police car you dumb fuck. "you said you were taking a taxi home, do you want me to wait for you?" umm, no it's covered!! hello! he walks away and the cop asks us, "how long have you known this man, I'm like "5 minutes".

so we're up till 6 am looking for her, handing out my phone number and her description to convenience stores which are the only thing open at 5am on a saturday, and calling her brothers and anyone else she might have thought to call, but no luck. then at 8am I call her parents. that was a good fucking time. I almost killed her mother. then finally at like 10 am D. calls. the story is fuzzy but some guy pseudo-innocently took her to his house, and that's where she woke up. who fucking knows. atleast I could call the local news stations back and tell them we found her and we didn't have to be on tv.

fucking ridiculous I tell you.