Sunday, November 19, 2006

i'll sign an affidavit to that...

most ridiculous night ever. so shorty brown and gretchen are in town from la this weekend so we all meet up for good times all over the west village. we head from cowgirl to shag, the gayest gay bar ever. the drinks we had were fucking ridiculous: the fancy nancy... the fire island ice tea... out of control. and theeeennnn the duplex. christ. i will now swear on a stack of bibles that alcohol impairs your judgement. so i've been drinking gin and tonics ALL NIGHT and i'd say at this point i've had about 8. then i start getting a headache. sooo what do i usually do when i get a headache? i take some painkillers, so what do i do? take painkillers on top of 8 gin and tonics. sweet. then i have another. about an hour later we're gonna head to the e.vill and chill at vickie's place and surprisingly i'm not feeling so hot. so krystal recommends that i head to the bathroom first, and there i puke my guts out. awesome. i come out, like a champ, wash my hands, and krystal hands me some gum. and this british girl is the only one who can tell i've just gotten rid of the 10 drinks i've had that night, and says, "aww, do you feel bettah?" and that's why british chicks rock.
we then proceed to go to vickie's, where i pass out on the couch for two hours and wake up to see joe powers with make-up looking like a fairie on crack. soooo hot. we had to convince him not to take the PATH train home to jersey like that, or he'd get his ass kicked.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

you go Kieth Olbermann!

From Coundown with Kieth Olbermann:

We have lived as if in a trance.

We have lived as people in fear.

And now—our rights and our freedoms in peril—we slowly awaken to learn that we have been afraid of the wrong thing.

Therefore, tonight have we truly become the inheritors of our American legacy.

For, on this first full day that the Military Commissions Act is in force, we now face what our ancestors faced, at other times of exaggerated crisis and melodramatic fear-mongering:

A government more dangerous to our liberty, than is the enemy it claims to protect us from.

We have been here before—and we have been here before, led here by men better and wiser and nobler than George W. Bush.

We have been here when President John Adams insisted that the Alien and Sedition Acts were necessary to save American lives, only to watch him use those acts to jail newspaper editors.

American newspaper editors, in American jails, for things they wrote about America.

We have been here when President Woodrow Wilson insisted that the Espionage Act was necessary to save American lives, only to watch him use that Act to prosecute 2,000 Americans, especially those he disparaged as “Hyphenated Americans,” most of whom were guilty only of advocating peace in a time of war.

American public speakers, in American jails, for things they said about America.

And we have been here when President Franklin D. Roosevelt insisted that Executive Order 9066 was necessary to save American lives, only to watch him use that order to imprison and pauperize 110,000 Americans while his man in charge, General DeWitt, told Congress: “It makes no difference whether he is an American citizen—he is still a Japanese.”

American citizens, in American camps, for something they neither wrote nor said nor did, but for the choices they or their ancestors had made about coming to America.

Each of these actions was undertaken for the most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And each was a betrayal of that for which the president who advocated them claimed to be fighting.

Adams and his party were swept from office, and the Alien and Sedition Acts erased.

Many of the very people Wilson silenced survived him, and one of them even ran to succeed him, and got 900,000 votes, though his presidential campaign was conducted entirely from his jail cell.

And Roosevelt’s internment of the Japanese was not merely the worst blight on his record, but it would necessitate a formal apology from the government of the United States to the citizens of the United States whose lives it ruined.

The most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

In times of fright, we have been only human.

We have let Roosevelt’s “fear of fear itself” overtake us.

We have listened to the little voice inside that has said, “the wolf is at the door; this will be temporary; this will be precise; this too shall pass.”

We have accepted that the only way to stop the terrorists is to let the government become just a little bit like the terrorists.

Just the way we once accepted that the only way to stop the Soviets was to let the government become just a little bit like the Soviets.

Or substitute the Japanese.

Or the Germans.

Or the Socialists.

Or the Anarchists.

Or the Immigrants.

Or the British.

Or the Aliens.

The most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And, always, always wrong.

“With the distance of history, the questions will be narrowed and few: Did this generation of Americans take the threat seriously, and did we do what it takes to defeat that threat?”

Wise words.

And ironic ones, Mr. Bush.

Your own, of course, yesterday, in signing the Military Commissions Act.

You spoke so much more than you know, Sir.

Sadly—of course—the distance of history will recognize that the threat this generation of Americans needed to take seriously was you.

We have a long and painful history of ignoring the prophecy attributed to Benjamin Franklin that “those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

But even within this history we have not before codified the poisoning of habeas corpus, that wellspring of protection from which all essential liberties flow.

You, sir, have now befouled that spring.

You, sir, have now given us chaos and called it order.

You, sir, have now imposed subjugation and called it freedom.

For the most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And — again, Mr. Bush — all of them, wrong.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who has said it is unacceptable to compare anything this country has ever done to anything the terrorists have ever done.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who has insisted again that “the United States does not torture. It’s against our laws and it’s against our values” and who has said it with a straight face while the pictures from Abu Ghraib Prison and the stories of Waterboarding figuratively fade in and out, around him.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who may now, if he so decides, declare not merely any non-American citizens “unlawful enemy combatants” and ship them somewhere—anywhere -- but may now, if he so decides, declare you an “unlawful enemy combatant” and ship you somewhere - anywhere.

And if you think this hyperbole or hysteria, ask the newspaper editors when John Adams was president or the pacifists when Woodrow Wilson was president or the Japanese at Manzanar when Franklin Roosevelt was president.

And if you somehow think habeas corpus has not been suspended for American citizens but only for everybody else, ask yourself this: If you are pulled off the street tomorrow, and they call you an alien or an undocumented immigrant or an “unlawful enemy combatant”—exactly how are you going to convince them to give you a court hearing to prove you are not? Do you think this attorney general is going to help you?

This President now has his blank check.

He lied to get it.

He lied as he received it.

Is there any reason to even hope he has not lied about how he intends to use it nor who he intends to use it against?

“These military commissions will provide a fair trial,” you told us yesterday, Mr. Bush, “in which the accused are presumed innocent, have access to an attorney and can hear all the evidence against them.”

"Presumed innocent," Mr. Bush?

The very piece of paper you signed as you said that, allows for the detainees to be abused up to the point just before they sustain “serious mental and physical trauma” in the hope of getting them to incriminate themselves, and may no longer even invoke The Geneva Conventions in their own defense.

"Access to an attorney," Mr. Bush?

Lieutenant Commander Charles Swift said on this program, Sir, and to the Supreme Court, that he was only granted access to his detainee defendant on the promise that the detainee would plead guilty.

"Hearing all the evidence," Mr. Bush?

The Military Commissions Act specifically permits the introduction of classified evidence not made available to the defense.

Your words are lies, Sir.

They are lies that imperil us all.

“One of the terrorists believed to have planned the 9/11 attacks,” you told us yesterday, “said he hoped the attacks would be the beginning of the end of America.”

That terrorist, sir, could only hope.

Not his actions, nor the actions of a ceaseless line of terrorists (real or imagined), could measure up to what you have wrought.

Habeas corpus? Gone.

The Geneva Conventions? Optional.

The moral force we shined outwards to the world as an eternal beacon, and inwards at ourselves as an eternal protection? Snuffed out.

These things you have done, Mr. Bush, they would be “the beginning of the end of America.”

And did it even occur to you once, sir — somewhere in amidst those eight separate, gruesome, intentional, terroristic invocations of the horrors of 9/11 -- that with only a little further shift in this world we now know—just a touch more repudiation of all of that for which our patriots died --- did it ever occur to you once that in just 27 months and two days from now when you leave office, some irresponsible future president and a “competent tribunal” of lackeys would be entitled, by the actions of your own hand, to declare the status of “unlawful enemy combatant” for -- and convene a Military Commission to try -- not John Walker Lindh, but George Walker Bush?

For the most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And doubtless, Sir, all of them—as always—wrong.

Friday, November 03, 2006

you have some serious cojones my friend

so as i was walking to the subway i saw a man in a car who was trying to back up to the sidewalk to attach his bagel cart to his car. no big deal except a NYPD car was blocking his way. any normal person would walk up to the officer, knock on the window and say something to the effect of, "excuse me officer, could you possibly move your car so i could tow away my bagel cart from the sidewalk?" but is this the route that this man took? NOOOO. he is laying on the horn, and yelling out the window, "yo!! buddy! get the fuck outta the way!" in the thickest Brooklyn accent ever. i am waiting for the cop to get out of the car and take out his nightstick and strike this guy over the head, but i have to get in the subway... that would've been worth the wait though. should've stayed.

i am definitely not 19 anymore

so last night was krystal's birthday. and the plan was to go see joe and evan do comedy, we'd have one drink, and then she'd go have dinner with her bf, and the rest of us would go home, it being a school night and all. that wasn't exactly the way it worked out. so we did go see comedy: gin and tonic count- 2. then her bf is running late, so the 4 of us decide to go have one more drink, i mean we are in the east village, and it is krystal's birthday! and the italian calls, oh boy, tells me we should def do dinner saturday. christ, i think i said yes. gin and tonic count- 4, food since lunch- 0. dinner plans are scratched when more friends show up. by 11pm: gin and tonic count- 6; tequila count-1. i spill to my friends that i'm contemplating "dinner" with the italian on saturday. they all seem supportive...? wtf? do i need new friends or just to drink less on thurdays? i think the latter. so krystal's bf is driving us home (sober no worries) and he has to make a pit stop in harlem, yeah! WTF! no fucking pit stop! and krystal is so drunk she pukes in the car!! hilarious! i'm dying laughing in the back seat. i finally get home at 2am, thinking, fuck me. i have to work in the morning, wait, in 6 hours. god.

i am definitely not 19 anymore.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

naptown, holla back...

yeah, so i'm originally from naptown. and i recently found out that my high school is a finalist for an MTV reality show. two-a-days, where they follow around high school athletes for a season and record all the drama. nothing good can come from this. i say this not just beacuse MTV reality shows are garbage, but because mtv OBVIOUSLY has no idea what thewy are getting into at my high school. yes, indiana is known for basketball, and my high school rocks the house, but there is ALWAYS a fucking scandal at my high school. and i mean scandal. lets go down the list of what happened while i was a student there:
1. the gym burned down- ruled an arson. they re-built it. it burned down again. ARSON. AGAIN.
2. the asst. principal was caught having sex with the gym teacher in a supply closet. during school hours.
3. a school security officer accidentally shot himself in the leg on school grounds. yes, we have cops at school that carry guns.
4. the principal, while on closed circuit tv to the entire student body, used the phrase "whiggers and freaks" to describe two groups of students. ohhh yeah. whiggers, as in white kids trying to act black. that's reeeaaal PC.
5. a science teacher slept with a student, got her pregnant, divorced his wife, and yet for some reason was not fired.

so bring in the cameras MTV. it'll be a good fucking time!